This handy universal remote control silences anti-coal propaganda on the spot! Point and shoot to turn off any television. Floods on TV? News anchors obsessed with methane leaks? Kaput! Neighbors watching the weather channel again? Do them a favor and click!

When you can’t turn it off, talk over it! Handheld voice amplifiers like a megaphone or air horn cover unwanted news with an unbearable stream of loudness. Stuck talking to a climate over reactor at your cousin’s housewarming party? BEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Climate change is an opinion, and a negative one at that. The world needs more positivity and it can start with you! A hotter earth isn’t bad. Who likes winter? If some dour pessimist wants to spoil a good thing step in and remind folks they’re getting more beach days than ever! Or if you come across a Debby Downer who wants to fret over how a little extra ocean water is affecting coastlines… Come on. Who doesn’t like an ocean view? See how it works?

Arguments against liquified natural gas can be easily countered with repetitions of a simple, “no!” 

‍Examples:
Your girlfriend who works for the UN: “Well it’s official, methane traps 80 times more heat than carbon dioxide.” 
You: "No!"
Your friend whose house was just destroyed by a hurricane: “I just lost all of my possessions. We have to do something before the entire coast is unlivable!”
You: “No!”

‍See? Easy peasy!