The innovations in greenwashing that made us say “that’s what I wanna do when I grow up!”

Innovation: recycle laws for good business

In the late 90s, Chevron was in trouble for spilling some oil into wildlife refuges and violating things like the Clean Air Act. The government said, “Hey Chevron, you can’t do that,” and made a bunch of laws. Chevron made commercials that made it seem like they were choosing not to drown polar bears on purpose, and it worked!

People Do

Innovation: mind control

While most companies greenwash creatively obscured unpopular information, Vader did the opposite. By speaking confidently, instilling fear, and practicing various levels of mind control, Vader achieved remarkable success garnering support from far reaches of the galaxy. These tactics have not been tested on our focus groups yet, but we dare to dream!

Innovation: aesthetic repulsion

Royal Caribbean built the largest cruise ship in the world, five times bigger than Titanic, and it runs on LNG. That’s a lot of leaky methane! So they pumped up the bells and whistles and made a technicolor boat so visually gross you can’t look too close without going blind. It’s the first time a company has leveraged visual disgust to physically repel scrutiny. 

Icon of the Seas commercial

Innovation: recruiting nature itself

In 1991, Dupont had a lot going against it. People were mad because they were putting the most pollution into the world. DuPont knew how sad this made people, so they recruited the thing that made people who love nature happiest: when nature is happy too! DuPont’s clapping seals and flipping dolphins won over many hearts even though DuPont was slowly killing them. 

Dupont clapping seals

Innovation: re-calculating happiness

When VW’s Diesel cars couldn’t pass irrational fuel regulation standards, VW decided to take matters into their own hands and change the measuring stick. They installed an impressive software that changed some numbers to make regulators and customers happier!