Hey Scrubby!  What
is greenwashing,
and how can I?

Greenwashing is magic! Consumers want to know that the companies they buy from are doing the right thing, ethically and environmentally. But why do they want to know it? So they can feel at ease. Greenwashing is the wonderful art of creating that feeling, even when reality is more complex. It’s a win-win! Corporations enjoy the freedom to operate lucratively while consumers sleep soundly.

There are as many ways to greenwash as there used to be fish in the sea (a lot!). Here’s how we handled our obstacles, maybe it will help you.

problem:
problematic science

When we started, nobody knew much about LNG. Anyone who did know anything only knew it was methane—a climate change-expediter with a leaky supply chain, eighty-times more powerful than CO2 in the short term at trapping heat in the atmosphere. Methane causes 25% of global warming, and fracking it leads to respiratory illness, asthma, childhood leukemia, heart disease, birth defects, and even death. It pollutes groundwater, leeches carcinogens into soil, and strains the public health of vulnerable communities. Try normalizing that.

solution:
just use nature words

When science gets in the way, wordplay can save the day! We named our fuel liquid natural gas, reminding everyone that it comes from the earth so it’s natural, and natural is good. Everyone feels better and stops thinking about the bad things. Sometimes, all you need to do is use the color green, which reminds people of things like trees. Hot tip: Use acronyms to hide troublesome words.

problem:
cranky neighbors

Every fossil fuel has a supply chain, and usually, lots of people and animals live near it. To get natural gas out of the ground, we have to break up rocks far underground to release it. The people who live next to this process get mad because sometimes the gas gets into water and air and makes their bodies feel bad. This is also not preferred by the animals who live there who want to live a longer time.

solution:
sacrifice for greater good

A burden can be an honor, and you can choose who bears it. Smush all the bad stuff into sacrifice zones, places you want to bravely accept the impacts of fuel extraction. The people here are heroes.

problem:
zealous protestors

Activists are always mad about methane! Protestors with too much time on their hands will find lots of ways to complain about you too.

solution:
be a chameleon

Here’s a trick: find out what they care about, and say you’re doing it! So we say, it’s just a “transition fuel” which makes people feel like they don’t need to worry about it, and not worrying feels good. Pay attention to the words activists use: eco-friendly, sustainable, green. And use them!

problem:
skeptical public

For good reason, the public is skeptical of lots of companies. They look for proof that you’re doing good things.

solution:
do a little, talk a lot

When science gets in the way, wordplay can save the day! We named our fuel liquid natural gas, reminding everyone that it comes from the earth so it’s natural, and natural is good. Everyone feels better and stops thinking about the bad things. Sometimes, all you need to do is use the color green, which reminds people of things like trees. Hot tip: Use acronyms to hide troublesome words.